I always knew that having children was not the right thing for me to do. Even when I was a small child some of my earliest memories involve me distinctly disliking other children, baby dolls, playing 'house', and anything else that would try to turn a little girl into a future mommy. I can probably psychoanalyze my aversion toward children but I don't want to get into that today. The point of the day is that these feelings only get stronger the older I get. And the older I get, the happier and more self-assured in my decisions I become and that includes being child free.
In high school, when I proclaimed that I don't want children now or ever I was always met with a patronizing stare and the retort that 'I'll change my mind someday'. Or worse, being told that women who don't want children are immediately dismissed as 'selfish' or 'not normal'. These kind remarks have come from everywhere and anyone; from my own family, school teachers, friends, and the media. Because all 'normal' women breed and just luuurve little baaybeees, right? Well, not all women do and I am one of those women.
It wasn't until college that I began to discover people who were like-minded in the child free lifestyle, what the child free lifestyle is, and that it is okay to be child free. My roommate, who I credit as being the first self-proclaimed child free woman that I have met introduced me to a wealth of information on the Internet for people who don't want kids and who are proud and happy of their decision, including the famous and now defunct 'Brats Rant Page'. After pouring over page after page of ranting of the hell that the child free go through being assaulted by breeders and their ill-behaved offspring, courage from child free people who are successful and who dare to not become another societal drone following some imposed life-script, and people who are fulfilled and happy to be who they are without children. I began to truly understand that you don't have to do something just because you are always told that is the way everyone should live. It was okay to not want to have children and still live a happy, normal, and fulfilled life. It wasn't just okay to be child free, it was fabulous to be child free.
But the issue is, where are these proud child free people represented in our day to day society? Sure, we have some online blogs and support groups. But as far as our mass media is concerned, the pressure to breed is bearing down upon us and time is ticking for women to make sure they 'have it all' before it is too late. You can't make it through a checkout line without seeing the latest headline of some celebutwat who is either knocked up or rumored to be so. Even fashion magazines kowtow to the breeder machine by telling us that our 30's are the time to get married, squirt out a few crib lizards, and still manage to get that promotion. I know that I am not the only woman walking the earth who finds this breeder-centric attitude revolting. So where are the child free and why don't we have a share of the voice? It is time in our society that we begin to accept the child free as a viable sector of the community. People who are smart, funny, have great jobs, great friends, loving spouses, and who love their lives without knowing the supposed 'joy' of birthing some progeny who may just be another future mediocre asshole.
I am here to say out loud that you don't have to breed to be a happy adult. Being a happy adult means making the decisions that are right for you, regardless of the people who will bear down on you to do what they think is 'right' or 'normal'. I guess those people are just proof that misery loves company and having to slave away tending to sickly or otherwise disappointing children is there lot in life, it is not for everyone. It is definitely not for me, and that is nothing to be ashamed of.
I'll dare to be happy on my own terms.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Thanks for Coming to Lincoln Park, Kuma's Too!
I still have never eaten at the original Kuma's on Belmont. John and I showed up once 10 minutes before the place opened for the day and we were yelled at by a heavily tattooed girl behind the bar that they were still closed. If I wasn't starving, I would have had the sense to retort and ask 'Then why is the damn front door open?'. But I digress, we left and had not had the chance to make our way out there since.
But happily, a couple of weeks ago Kuma's opened their 2nd location at 666 W. Diversey in the old Counter location. Honestly, the space felt to 'clean' for a burger place that has made its reputation on being 'metal'. Sure, all of the staff have full tatoo sleeves, wear ironic shirts, have funky hair colors, and seem to enjoy being rude to the customers. They basically are non-conformists that all do the exact same thing as the next person to stand out. And still have the audacity to look at me as though I am any ordinary 'yuppie', go figure. But something about pumping loud music into a clean cut space just doesn't quite settle right. Sure, the walls are covered with vintage posters of famous metal bands (Metallica, Judas Preist, etc.), and by covered, they are all neatly framed and hung evenly. And they also try to prove how 'edgy' they are by hanging naked lady pictures in the hallway back by the bathrooms.
If Kuma's wants to be a Lincoln Park metal bar, then they should do it. Not conform to some watered-down idea that they think the Lincoln Parkateers would be happy with. It's insulting to those of us who live in the neighborhood and actually appreciate it for being a diverse area with something for everyone. Sure, we have DePaul University and annoying college kids, Wrigley Field and drunk ex-frat boys, and entitled stroller bitches tooling up and down the neighborhood streets with their Bugaboos. But, we also have establishments that have stood the test of time regardless of the changing environment. You don't see establishments like Delilah's, Neo, the L&L, or even the Metro trying to change who they are to make the Yuppie Brigade happy, do you? And these places have been open since before I was born.
Because, unlike Kuma's, these places that have stood the test of time and realize that the majority of the annoyances that I mention above are temporary blips in the life of Chicago. Inevitably, the annoying DePaul Student becomes the Wrigleyville ex-frat boy who will meet a vacant trixie and they then morph into the Yuppie parents. And before you know it they have shipped themselves out to the suburbs and oblivion. Then there are the rest of us who, sure at one time were probably annoying college kids, but who have grown up, own homes, hold down good jobs, and have made the decision to make Chciago a permanent home. We just prefer to live park and lake adjacent rather than be conformist cool and live in Logan Square.
On a positive note, I am in love with Kuma's burgers. We went last Friday after work and I am still thinking about my meal and trying to come up with any excuse to go back, and soon! I also liked the loud music, absence of TV's, and booze selections. It is a great addition to the neighborhood for those who appreciate an alternative to a sports bar. Kuma's Too just needs to drop the perception that they only dane to be part of the Lincoln Park community instead of actually being a member.
But happily, a couple of weeks ago Kuma's opened their 2nd location at 666 W. Diversey in the old Counter location. Honestly, the space felt to 'clean' for a burger place that has made its reputation on being 'metal'. Sure, all of the staff have full tatoo sleeves, wear ironic shirts, have funky hair colors, and seem to enjoy being rude to the customers. They basically are non-conformists that all do the exact same thing as the next person to stand out. And still have the audacity to look at me as though I am any ordinary 'yuppie', go figure. But something about pumping loud music into a clean cut space just doesn't quite settle right. Sure, the walls are covered with vintage posters of famous metal bands (Metallica, Judas Preist, etc.), and by covered, they are all neatly framed and hung evenly. And they also try to prove how 'edgy' they are by hanging naked lady pictures in the hallway back by the bathrooms.
If Kuma's wants to be a Lincoln Park metal bar, then they should do it. Not conform to some watered-down idea that they think the Lincoln Parkateers would be happy with. It's insulting to those of us who live in the neighborhood and actually appreciate it for being a diverse area with something for everyone. Sure, we have DePaul University and annoying college kids, Wrigley Field and drunk ex-frat boys, and entitled stroller bitches tooling up and down the neighborhood streets with their Bugaboos. But, we also have establishments that have stood the test of time regardless of the changing environment. You don't see establishments like Delilah's, Neo, the L&L, or even the Metro trying to change who they are to make the Yuppie Brigade happy, do you? And these places have been open since before I was born.
Because, unlike Kuma's, these places that have stood the test of time and realize that the majority of the annoyances that I mention above are temporary blips in the life of Chicago. Inevitably, the annoying DePaul Student becomes the Wrigleyville ex-frat boy who will meet a vacant trixie and they then morph into the Yuppie parents. And before you know it they have shipped themselves out to the suburbs and oblivion. Then there are the rest of us who, sure at one time were probably annoying college kids, but who have grown up, own homes, hold down good jobs, and have made the decision to make Chciago a permanent home. We just prefer to live park and lake adjacent rather than be conformist cool and live in Logan Square.
On a positive note, I am in love with Kuma's burgers. We went last Friday after work and I am still thinking about my meal and trying to come up with any excuse to go back, and soon! I also liked the loud music, absence of TV's, and booze selections. It is a great addition to the neighborhood for those who appreciate an alternative to a sports bar. Kuma's Too just needs to drop the perception that they only dane to be part of the Lincoln Park community instead of actually being a member.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The Lies Carrie Bradshaw Told You
To pass the time when I am home alone my favorite thing to put on the TV is 'Sex and the City'. I have never been able to decide whether or not I am one of the legions of women who love the show and see it as an instruction manual for life or if I just actually hate it. Sure I love the fashion, the raunchy good humor, curly girl hairstyles, and watching the show satisfies my secret love of New York City. But damn, is Carrie Bradshaw annoying.
Case in point, I can feel my blood pressure spike in the 2nd season finale when Carrie is walking away from Mr. Big after celebrating his engagement to a 20 something year old girl with a normal nose and she theorizes:
"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with." - Carrie Bradshaw
However, my personal feeling is that this quote is actually a mask for something that much more resembles this:
Every insipid, insecure, perpetually single girl I have ever known has had this quote plastered all over her dorm room, Myspace (I'm dating myself), Facebook page, and man hatin' Pinterest board since it was first uttered a decade ago. "Stupid" girls cling to this quote because there is absolutely no possible way that their boyfriend or husband leaving them was any fault of their own. As the only explanation their man could have left them is because they are just way to wild to be handled.
But the reality is, we are all responsible for our own actions and sometimes relationships don't make it. And if this relationship didn't make it because in your mind you were to busy 'running wild and free' and your man just couldn't deal with it, it probably means that you're a crazy bitch. These women should stop fooling themselves into thinking their guy didn't want them because they were not the 'simple girl' they tell themselves he actually wanted. Truth is, he wanted a sane girl that has her shit together. To be fair, nobody is 'simple' we all have our own crazy. But the real difference is that the so-called 'simple girl' isn't also a selfish floozy.
So ladies, take that stupid quote down, get your shit together and stop being a selfish floozy. In time, perhaps you will be a lot happier and maybe even start looking up to yourself instead of fictional Carrie Bradshaw.
Case in point, I can feel my blood pressure spike in the 2nd season finale when Carrie is walking away from Mr. Big after celebrating his engagement to a 20 something year old girl with a normal nose and she theorizes:
"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with." - Carrie Bradshaw
 |
| I'm so independent and AMAZING! And my face resembling a FOOT only adds to my charm! |
 |
| A more believable assessment, no? |
Every insipid, insecure, perpetually single girl I have ever known has had this quote plastered all over her dorm room, Myspace (I'm dating myself), Facebook page, and man hatin' Pinterest board since it was first uttered a decade ago. "Stupid" girls cling to this quote because there is absolutely no possible way that their boyfriend or husband leaving them was any fault of their own. As the only explanation their man could have left them is because they are just way to wild to be handled.
But the reality is, we are all responsible for our own actions and sometimes relationships don't make it. And if this relationship didn't make it because in your mind you were to busy 'running wild and free' and your man just couldn't deal with it, it probably means that you're a crazy bitch. These women should stop fooling themselves into thinking their guy didn't want them because they were not the 'simple girl' they tell themselves he actually wanted. Truth is, he wanted a sane girl that has her shit together. To be fair, nobody is 'simple' we all have our own crazy. But the real difference is that the so-called 'simple girl' isn't also a selfish floozy.
So ladies, take that stupid quote down, get your shit together and stop being a selfish floozy. In time, perhaps you will be a lot happier and maybe even start looking up to yourself instead of fictional Carrie Bradshaw.
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